PRAISING CHILDREN

There's this fake and dangerous thing going on in the world.

People are PRAISING others' achievements.

The guy with the flash car, the money, the big house, the powerful job - he's praised for his achievements.

BUT what is his character?

I believe we should learn to naturally and comfortably praise our children's CHARACTER - often!

Scroll down the page on this site and print out the Character Qualities chart.

Actually, print out two.

Laminate them.

Put one on the fridge.

Put the other in the wall in the bathroom, or somewhere else that your family might read it.

Encourage the children to praise their siblings for good character qualities.

And if you are brave enough, seek God's help to humbly ask your husband or wife if they will gently point out the character traits that you are lacking in.

Then work on them :o)

Blessings
The Mummalady

DARK TIMES WITH YOUTH FICTION

Hi followers and other interested dropper-inners.

New Zealand is currently in the middle of "NZ Book Month".

On the envelope of my bank statement I see "Kids, read NZ books and we could take you to Auckland Zoo and "Shortland Street" !

First up - kids can't read. Kids are young goats.

Secondly - Shortland Street (from my vague memories of it) is a New Zealand soap opera with adult themes, conflict and drama - not the sort of thing children need to be watching. So why would a child be excited about winning a trip to see the sets and meet the actors?

But most disturbing to me is the fact that I have done a little research into "Young Adult" fiction just recently - due to the fact that I have written (and am continually adding bits to!) a Young Adult fiction novel.

I was interested to see what other New Zealand authors were offering our youth.

And - by the way - Young Adult fiction is, apparently, read by 12 - 18 year olds.

A helpful librarian was ready to show me some recently published New Zealand Young Adult fiction books - but I stopped her and said "No fantasy." She hesitated a minute and said "Ok - right, that narrows it down quite a lot."

In the end I came home with five books for my initial read-through.

These five books were published from between 1999 and 2007.

None of them are books we would let our children read.

The first had a plot based on deception. It was very boring to slog through the story waiting for the character to be revealed as a fraud. None of the characters was particularly likeable, there was a lot of sneering and rudeness to each other. One out of ten for slightly humorous situations.

The second book might have been classed "edgy" or "gritty" - but even for an adult it was awful. Inapproriate relationships, crude language, dope smoking, suicide. Zero out of ten.

Third up - started out with historical interest went straight into foul language, inappropriate comments, moved into the occult with ghost speaking to our main character. Zero.

Fourth - Interesting setting, character finds a ring in a rockpool - when she puts it on she can't stop telling the truth even when it should be kept hidden. She finds a tarot card reader who helps her find out about the ring ... Occult. How easy for our children to be introduced to these things through books like these. Zero out of ten.

and the last one for this session - the main character had no redeeming qualities, she was snarky, self-centred, full of self-pity, moody, nasty to others, the other characters were shallow. A bit too wordy and descriptive for me - heaps of descriptive bits about estuary birds which I skipped over and I wouldn't think there would be a great number of young people who would read all that word for word. Near the end there is a potential for a plane crash, but main character saves the day - however it took 10 pages to describe the near crash and the safe landing. Another Zero I'd have to say.

Am I too hard to please?

Probably, but I only want the best for our children.

That's why our children don't read fiction from the public library.

We read a really good story the other day about a man who had a big army, but God told him there were too many, and to send the ones who didn't want to fight home. Well, in the end there weren't many men left - but the battle was won!

Let's be very choosy folks. VERY choosy.

Blessings
The Mummalady

KEEP LEARNING!

Before we had our fifth baby we started to learn about Infant Potty Training, or Nappy Free (Diaper Free for outside Aus and NZ!) or Elimination Communication.

Rather than me go into lengthy detail (my little girl is intent on designing and gathering things for her homeschool Pet and Hobby day entry, so time is limited for other less important issues like blogging!) I would like to point my readers to some interesting things I have read about this issue.

One of the first websites I found and then continually returned to is by a lady called Charndra in Australia. There is heaps of information here.

I've read a couple of books - and just recently found, on the Pearl's website, there is an audio by Shalom which you can listen to here.

Shalom's method is quite different to the others I have read about, and I wonder if it might have worked better with our last little man.

We were going great with nappy free till he was about 7 months when he started to protest loudly about it all, and we backed off a great deal.

He is now nearly 2 years old and we are starting training again, but we are not using a potty as we've learned that sitting to "eliminate" is an extremely unhealthy way do to things.

It is only in "civilized" cultures that people use a "porcelain throne", and it would seem that it's mainly in "civilized" society that people have "elimination" issues - from piles to colon cancer.

I would like to come back to these subjects for another post - but right now we are discussing the design and manufacture of a miniature chicken A-frame, garden shed made of iceblock sticks and other exciting things.

Blessings
The Mummalady

OPPORTUNITIES TO SHARE

A very, very dear friend of mine spent a lot of time last year in hospital with her darling little fifth baby. He had multiple issues - and the strain on the family was more than they believed they could bear on their own.

When baby came home and family were all together again, the Mummy shared with me that the God had kept them in a "bubble" so they were able to survive without falling apart.

They had the opportunity to speak with, and share their faith with many people during this time.

After a few years of listening to many messages by Ray Comfort of Living Waters ministries, and since hearing how our friends shared their faith - we have been more conscious of opportunities to minister to others and share our faith as we are able.

Last week we bought some "Million Dollar Note" tracts from Living Waters NZ and yesterday I handed my first one out to a lady who works at our local shop. She was a Christian! I never knew that!

My next opportunity to share really hit me without warning (as they do).

The lady at the petrol station who was helping me fill our van with petrol (the smell of petrol is something that I would prefer not to inhale right now!) suddenly said to me "You have a lot of children."

I said "Yes!"

She had a lot of pain in her eyes as she said "What a terrible world to be bringing them into."

It transpired that she had a son of 26 who was murdered and she said "If I had my time again I would never have children - I would never bring them into this awful evil world."

I started to speak to her about the fact that yes - the world IS evil, but we don't have children FOR THE WORLD. We have our eyes on eternity.

We don't have children for our own pleasure - but the Lord blesses us by giving us a great deal of pleasure from our children. We have our children to honour and serve God.

And then she said to me "But will THEY survive the tribulation?"

Wow - it was certainly a very deep conversation to have, standing next to a petrol pump, while customers came and went all around us and she seemed oblivious to anything else but our conversation.

Afterwards I was stunned that I had the right words to say to her - I shouldn't have been. God has promised that he will give us the right words, at the right time.

From Luke 12: 11 and 12. " ... , do not worry about how or what you should answer, or what you should say. For the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour, what you ought to say."

Words from sermons came flooding back to me, and God's messages from His word about the manna in the dessert, and Paul's words to the churches and more.

I guess that having our sixth baby is putting us out there - not quite living in a glass house - but people know that something about us is different, just by looking at us.

And I am excited about the next opportunity that God gives us to share.

Blessings
The Mummalady

PATIENCE IN LEARNING AND TEACHING NEW THINGS

In the last few weeks I've been thinking and researching about web pages and auto responders and web hosts and membership lists and all kinds of things.

My head was spinning at first, I had no idea what was what - well, ok, I knew what a web page was.

I've been listening to a lot of Cindy Rushton's mp3 messages, and I am inspired to (as she says) "step up to the call".

I know I am a writer (a writer is "Someone Who Writes") and I know I have things to say (rather too much at times).

I understand that being able to write is a gift, and I desire to use this gift for the glory of God.

And so, things have been brewing quietly here and I find myself now in need of some technological knowledge.

I guess it's good for us to go over our heads once in a while and try and learn something new. It reminds us how the children must feel when faced with the unknown.

This morning I was talking to my middle ones (4 and 7) about the character trail of being orderly. I nearly laughed out loud when I looked at the face of my sweet little 4 year old. He was straining to understand, but he didn't get it at all! Darling boy. I came at it from another half a dozen angles and at last the light turned on and he completely got it and we sang a tune I'd hastily arranged for 1 Cor 14:40.

It also reminds us to be patient with ANYONE we come across who doesn't understand what we are talking about (I'm thinking specifically of some husband/wife conversation where one just doesn't understand the other!).

Blessings
The Mummalady

SPEAKING OF CHILDREN'S BIRTHDAYS AGAIN

Here's a picture of the yummy morning tea Miss 7 had. Pineapple, cheese, oranges, organic dried apricots (we like the healthy brown ones, not the ones soaked in sulphur dioxide so they retain their bright orange colour!) and for a HUGE treat - MARSHMALLOWS!

I thought I was finished with the topic of birthdays for a while, but while reading through some old emails I came across an article by Teri Maxwell.

We have been enjoying the teachings from Steve and Teri Maxwell for quite a few years now, so I thought I would put a link in here to the specific article Teri wrote about birthdays.

If you want to check more of what they have to say visit titus2.com.

I hope you enjoy it - or are challenged by it!

Blessings
The Mummalady

GIRLS' MORNING OUT

My little girl turned 7 during the week, and on on Saturday, Daddy stayed home with the boys and the girls took off in Daddy's little work car for some serious shopping!

She had some money from both sets of grandparents. A lot of thought went into what she might buy - discussing and making lists. So on Saturday when we actually got to the shops the joy of purchasing things was wonderful!

We make a point of never going shopping for "leisure" or "entertainment", so to have some birthday money to spend is a very special thing.

We bought morning tea - a sausage roll for Mummy and a chocolate croissant for Miss 7. This was a huge treat. :o)

Near the end of the expedition Miss 7 found some things to buy to bring home as presents for some of her brothers - the Smelly Belly being the major find of the morning - $2 in the Salvation Army shop. Our two oldest boys are Smelly Belly collectors. They actually already have this Giant Smelly Belly - Lolli Pop - but it's always fun to add more to the collection (apparently) and they have plans for making more movies with Smelly Belly as actors (gripping! What they lack in expressions they make up for in personality).

We also had a girls' library visit (one of the boys commented on the fact that he could tell that it was a girls' trip - quite a few of the books were about cardmaking and scrapbooking ...).

So we spent some money, had some treats and got some library books - but the main thing was that we spent time together. Just Mummy and her darling little girl. I often look at her and will myself to remember every little detail about her while she is still young. I know that I'll blink and suddenly she'll be 17.

But I'll still be her Mum even when she's grown up. And I cherish every moment and deeply thank the Lord for each of His precious children that He has chosen for me. For me to teach, care for, guide and love.

Amen
The Mummalady

LOW-KEY BIRTHDAYS

We've noticed a "thing" happening in the world nowadays.

Children's birthdays are getting ... well ... extravagant.

When our littlest guy turned one we joked about what sort of party we would have for him. A bouncy castle, mini-jeeps, little quad-bikes, a clown, pony rides, a marquee and catering for 50.

Instead we sang "Happy Birthday" to him, gave him his teddy (which he has named Bare Bear) and had a biscuit after tea to celebrate.

When the next little guy up just turned 4 not so long ago he got a Lego set, a resin rabbit for his garden, a tiny little torch and a wonderful morning tea! It was just the family as usual, and the wonderful treats you see on the photo above.

Miss almost 7 has her birthday this week. We have a few treats tucked away and something nice planned for lunch. Tea will be something she has chosen and the day will be special for her.

I was talking to someone a while back who reminded me about children's parties when we were little (he was as ancient as me) in the 1970's. When mothers cooked the food like lamingtons, cherios (not cereal like in America - here in NZ they are little red sausages served with tomato sauce), ginger snaps with whipped cream in them, individual jellies, hundreds-and-thousands open sandwiches, tiny little savouries and of course a cake.

The games were pass the parcel, hunt the thimble, pin the tail on the donkey ...

For the majority now it seems those days are gone. Parents have better ideas - they hire the entire gymnasium for an hour, and then take everyone to a restaurant afterwards or take 15 of their children's best friends for a horse trek or hire a bouncy castle and a juggler to put on a show or they get a "Party Organiser" to do the whole thing! And the parties get bigger and better (and subsequently more expensive) each year. What a stress!!

Birthdays ARE specials days. A time to celebrate the life of the child - to thank the Lord for sending that specific child into that exact place in our family. But the hype and glamour is misplaced.

I would like to encourage parents to really go back to basics with birthdays for young children. When they are older they might specifically ask for something special, but having been brought up on a diet of simplicity and the quiet life I believe the requests won't be too extravagant (or expensive!).